Monday, February 25, 2008
So Ave is off for his first day of the high school tryouts and I am nervous enough for the both of us. He has been playing soccer since he was in kindergarten and he loves it and he's really good but you just never know. So the next few days I will have a pit in my stomach and hoping hoping hoping that he makes it. How do you prepare for something like this? It is a dreary, rainy day and I have watched 3 episodes of this supermodel show so that should tell you how productive of a day I have had. Seth scrapped the wood floor really badly this morning so I decided to try one of those markers to fill it in with and then I kept seeing more and more scratches so I kept colring them in and I am just noticing with the light hitting it differently this afternoon that it made it look even worse so Steve is going to kill me. I was just trying to make it better and I ended up making it worse, that seems to happen to me alot. Especially when I talk, I put my foot in my mouth so many times that I am not surprised that I don't have many friends. I try to hard to be right and make myself sound smart.is the problem I think. I used to be smart but now that I have teenagers in the house and a husband who knows everything I second guess everything. All I want to do is be right sometimes, like what if I put the extra cabinet in the laundry room and it does look stupid and close in the whole room? I am looking at it as a person who is only 5'5" and Steve is 6'3" so could he be right and then I will end up hating it and wanting to take it all down? I always have these great ideas in my own head but following through I chicken out. The lesson we had at church on Sunday was all about having faith without fear. I realized that I have lived my life with fear, fear of failing, of not being as good as somebody else. It really has stopped me from accomplishing very much in my life. I have had so many opportunities and I have not done with them what I should have. WOW where did all that come from? ... cabinets in the laundry room to faith versus fear. yeah I really need to get of the house :) Well off to make something that will appease the boys hunger and pick up Ave from tryouts. Keep him and me in your prayers or we both might have a nervous breakdown!!!